In Pursuit of Happiness
I'm not happy. I don't know why. I just feel that something is missing in my life. This was demonstrated most clearly at my recent birthday celebration weekend. While having drinks with friends, and going out for dinner with more friends, I pondered over the state of my situation, comparing it to when I was 25, followed by 24, 23, and so on and so forth. I came to the conclusion that something was seriously missing. Could it be money? Sex? Food? Friends? Job? Expectations? My motorbike?
Well, money and job would probably go together. I am holding (in my opinion) an ideal job for someone with my background and experience. Fresh out of uni, you can't really jump into a high flying job. And I'm learning new things everyday. Of course some days can be really boring, while others can be hectic. But overall, its all good. The salary is ok. I'm not filthy rich, and I'm not poor either. I'm comfortable. And I'm not overworked.
Sex? Er....well....I'm single at the moment. And I hope that doesn't last. There are a couple of girls I fancy. And I think only one has the potential to lead to something more. But the situation is pretty murky at the moment. So I'll just have to wait and see how it turns out. But I've been without sex before, for a longer period of time compared to this, and that hasn't caused me any problems.
Food? I eat pretty healthily. Lots of fruits and veg and water. A very balanced diet. And I work out pretty regularly too. And I make sure I get enough sleep everyday.
Friends? I've got loads of friends, as recently proven during the weekend of my birthday. Old friends from uni. Friends from overseas. Friends from work. Friends from home. Many friends that wished me well for my birthday.
Expectations? Hmm....what does that mean? Am I supposed to be in a secure job with a girlfriend or *gasp* wife with kids? A few of my colleagues that are younger than me are getting married. Or am I supposed to be back home with my family? I don't know. There's a big question mark for this one.
My motorbike? Hehehe, this might actually cure my problem. I'm expecting the arrival of my next motorbike very soon. And its one hell of a bike! I'm not going to spoil the surprise, but suffice to say, I shall be writing about it here. Keep an eye (or ear) out for it!
So what is it? Why do I feel that something is missing. Will getting a new toy (motorbike) or girlfriend solve it? Will earning more money make me happier? Will going home to my family make me feel satisfied? What, at the age of 26, is a physially fit young male that feels like he is 4 or 5 years younger supposed to do? This is in no way an identity crisis. Nor is it a midlife crisis experienced by many men around 40. This is not a moaning post either. I'm missing something here, and I intend to find out what that is.
Note: Coincidentally, there is a movie that has just been released, starring Will Smith called "The Pursuit of Happiness". I have to say that this post is in no way related to it. I have not seen it.
Well, money and job would probably go together. I am holding (in my opinion) an ideal job for someone with my background and experience. Fresh out of uni, you can't really jump into a high flying job. And I'm learning new things everyday. Of course some days can be really boring, while others can be hectic. But overall, its all good. The salary is ok. I'm not filthy rich, and I'm not poor either. I'm comfortable. And I'm not overworked.
Sex? Er....well....I'm single at the moment. And I hope that doesn't last. There are a couple of girls I fancy. And I think only one has the potential to lead to something more. But the situation is pretty murky at the moment. So I'll just have to wait and see how it turns out. But I've been without sex before, for a longer period of time compared to this, and that hasn't caused me any problems.
Food? I eat pretty healthily. Lots of fruits and veg and water. A very balanced diet. And I work out pretty regularly too. And I make sure I get enough sleep everyday.
Friends? I've got loads of friends, as recently proven during the weekend of my birthday. Old friends from uni. Friends from overseas. Friends from work. Friends from home. Many friends that wished me well for my birthday.
Expectations? Hmm....what does that mean? Am I supposed to be in a secure job with a girlfriend or *gasp* wife with kids? A few of my colleagues that are younger than me are getting married. Or am I supposed to be back home with my family? I don't know. There's a big question mark for this one.
My motorbike? Hehehe, this might actually cure my problem. I'm expecting the arrival of my next motorbike very soon. And its one hell of a bike! I'm not going to spoil the surprise, but suffice to say, I shall be writing about it here. Keep an eye (or ear) out for it!
So what is it? Why do I feel that something is missing. Will getting a new toy (motorbike) or girlfriend solve it? Will earning more money make me happier? Will going home to my family make me feel satisfied? What, at the age of 26, is a physially fit young male that feels like he is 4 or 5 years younger supposed to do? This is in no way an identity crisis. Nor is it a midlife crisis experienced by many men around 40. This is not a moaning post either. I'm missing something here, and I intend to find out what that is.
Note: Coincidentally, there is a movie that has just been released, starring Will Smith called "The Pursuit of Happiness". I have to say that this post is in no way related to it. I have not seen it.
posted by SJ at 10:44 PM
3 Comments:
Heya SJ - I would guess 'expectations' are in some way the root of the problem. In a sense, it's not that something/anything is missing; it's just that you (like most of us) have too much (in terms of expectations, self-demands, judgments, or the likes). Often these are not 100% conscious and are thus hard to eradicate. Just let the question, "so what am I expecting here anyhow?" rise up whenever you're feeling unhappy. Soon enough you'll see the expectations, etc. that have been dragging you out of your enjoyment of life and can let them go.
Helo Justin,
Thanks for the advice. What if you realised those expectations/cravings are the core part of yourself and you just can't let it go? Hmm....its worth a try anyway.
Heya SJ - I would suppose that your self-conception is wrong if you put expectations at the core. Your core is beyond those expectations, which, if you think about it, were formed at some point (concealing your real core/self) and will change/fall away at some time too. Think of the martial artist: if he/she has expectations about the opponent he'll lose. He must be perfectly centered and responsive. At least that's my (non-martial artist) interpretation.
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